This was posted on the Rotorcraft Pro magazine e-mag and I had to share it...
'Twas the night before Christmas, on the ramp by the lobby,
Not a copter was stirring, not even a Robbie.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!
With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?
While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"
He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's an Agusta, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."
Have a good holiday one and all
Chris
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Its Christmas!!!!
21.12.11
Well here it is. The end of another year. Where has it gone? Well I can acount for 44.5 hrs of it straight away and then there is all the studying and work and family life. A very busy year to say the least!
Today started with gusty winds and a general yeuch (spelling?) feeling, so I cancelled my flight this morning as there was little benefit flying in the gusting winds and feeling like poo is a no no for flying and I need some 'get back into it time' for after Christmas. I'll be teaching Casualty Care to RNLI crews on the east coast of Scotland till February. Yes February, not great for the flying being 560 miles from Bournemouth Airport. Needs must and work duties are always calling.
On a lighter note I did go into Bournemouth helicopters and decided to try my hand at Performance and Planning exam, my last written exam. I hadn't stdied for it in about a month due to being on the west coast of Scotland doing flood rescue training amoong other things, however, there are three attempts at the exams so I had nothing to loose if I failed and everything to gain if I passed.
THANK GOD I PASSED! I got through with 85% with as per the usual for my exams a few silly mistakes that I knew the answers to when not under the pressure of the clock. So thats it for exams but I'll have to do some studying over the festive period to make sure I dont forget stuff.
In my line of work skill fade is a major problem and it cant be more true for aviation world so this time away will be tough. The longest time ive had in just under a year without flying. EEEK! Istarted flying on 28th January 2011 and almost managed to get it done in a year. If I hadn't had work I think I could have done it. C'est La Vie, C'est La Guerre.
To finnish with for this years Blogging I thought I'd put up screen shots of the Apps I have used on the Iphone to help with my studies and general flying.
In the middle is the main page dedicated to flying.
Convertor - Self Explanatory
Calculator - Self Explanatory (my sums are crap so a must have)
Google Earth - to get the Birds eye view when making plans, to see what I will see
Memory Map - Relatively cheep to buy the app and then the cost of the CAA charts on top but well worth it for CAA charts at your finger tips, and it can log your flight as you do it including altitude.
PPL - A folder full of 'Great Circle training apps) very useful for the style of questions you'll come up against in the written exams (see left picture)
Flight computer - This folder has a few apps that do the work of a flight computer. I use these the check my flight computer wokings out. (see right picture)
My Blog - Self Explanatory (Keep it to hand)
ABB - All aviation abreviations in one handy app
Aviation - A direct link to the Met office Aviation page for 214 and 215 forms and METARs TAFs etc (found here - http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/aviation - you need to log on but its free so well worth it) (highly recomended)
Aero Weather - A fantastic weather report app for any reporting airfield (highly recomended)
AeroPlus - Another fantastic weather app showing visulay the flight rules metars wind speed etc in map view. (highly recomended)
Rain Radar - A web link to http://www.raintoday.co.uk/
Jet Fueling - App for all your fueling needs
Check list lite - Self Explanatory (not used it much)
Checklist - Not relevant to the shcweitzer but a good look at Robinsons 22/44 EC120/B AS350 B/BA
MetBrief - A web liink to http://www.metbrief.com/ Specificaly the Synoptic charts (Why Bracknell - EGRR I don't know) (highly recomended)
I hope that helps those with I-Phones as a guide where you can get some help. Even if you don't the web pages are well worth looking at.
Right thats it from me for the year. God Bless, Safe flying, have a fantastic Christmas and a Fruitful happy New Year full of fortune and more flying!
Chris (ResuceShrek)
Well here it is. The end of another year. Where has it gone? Well I can acount for 44.5 hrs of it straight away and then there is all the studying and work and family life. A very busy year to say the least!
Today started with gusty winds and a general yeuch (spelling?) feeling, so I cancelled my flight this morning as there was little benefit flying in the gusting winds and feeling like poo is a no no for flying and I need some 'get back into it time' for after Christmas. I'll be teaching Casualty Care to RNLI crews on the east coast of Scotland till February. Yes February, not great for the flying being 560 miles from Bournemouth Airport. Needs must and work duties are always calling.
On a lighter note I did go into Bournemouth helicopters and decided to try my hand at Performance and Planning exam, my last written exam. I hadn't stdied for it in about a month due to being on the west coast of Scotland doing flood rescue training amoong other things, however, there are three attempts at the exams so I had nothing to loose if I failed and everything to gain if I passed.
THANK GOD I PASSED! I got through with 85% with as per the usual for my exams a few silly mistakes that I knew the answers to when not under the pressure of the clock. So thats it for exams but I'll have to do some studying over the festive period to make sure I dont forget stuff.
In my line of work skill fade is a major problem and it cant be more true for aviation world so this time away will be tough. The longest time ive had in just under a year without flying. EEEK! Istarted flying on 28th January 2011 and almost managed to get it done in a year. If I hadn't had work I think I could have done it. C'est La Vie, C'est La Guerre.
To finnish with for this years Blogging I thought I'd put up screen shots of the Apps I have used on the Iphone to help with my studies and general flying.
In the middle is the main page dedicated to flying.
Convertor - Self Explanatory
Calculator - Self Explanatory (my sums are crap so a must have)
Google Earth - to get the Birds eye view when making plans, to see what I will see
Memory Map - Relatively cheep to buy the app and then the cost of the CAA charts on top but well worth it for CAA charts at your finger tips, and it can log your flight as you do it including altitude.
PPL - A folder full of 'Great Circle training apps) very useful for the style of questions you'll come up against in the written exams (see left picture)
Flight computer - This folder has a few apps that do the work of a flight computer. I use these the check my flight computer wokings out. (see right picture)
My Blog - Self Explanatory (Keep it to hand)
ABB - All aviation abreviations in one handy app
Aviation - A direct link to the Met office Aviation page for 214 and 215 forms and METARs TAFs etc (found here - http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/aviation - you need to log on but its free so well worth it) (highly recomended)
Aero Weather - A fantastic weather report app for any reporting airfield (highly recomended)
AeroPlus - Another fantastic weather app showing visulay the flight rules metars wind speed etc in map view. (highly recomended)
Rain Radar - A web link to http://www.raintoday.co.uk/
Jet Fueling - App for all your fueling needs
Check list lite - Self Explanatory (not used it much)
Checklist - Not relevant to the shcweitzer but a good look at Robinsons 22/44 EC120/B AS350 B/BA
MetBrief - A web liink to http://www.metbrief.com/ Specificaly the Synoptic charts (Why Bracknell - EGRR I don't know) (highly recomended)
I hope that helps those with I-Phones as a guide where you can get some help. Even if you don't the web pages are well worth looking at.
Right thats it from me for the year. God Bless, Safe flying, have a fantastic Christmas and a Fruitful happy New Year full of fortune and more flying!
Chris (ResuceShrek)
 |
| Another Day at the Office |
Information 'Hotel'
"ATIS" stands for "Automated Terminal Information Service," which is a recorded message broadcast at most busy airports around the country. ATIS gives pilots the current wind, air traffic, and runway information and each time the information changes, the broadcast is revised, with each revision being assigned the next letter in the phonetic alphabet. This designation is included in the broadcast, which is identified as, "Information Alpha..." Bravo, Charlie, etc.
At ATIS-equipped airports, pilots are required to listen to the recording prior to contacting Approach Control or the tower and must repeat the "Information (Phonetic identifier)" when they make their initial radio call eg - G-TSLC QNH 1021 Information 'Zulu'. Sometimes, the results can be hilarious...
The scenario: it was night over Las Vegas and "Information Hotel" was current on the ATIS. Mooney 33W wasn't too sharp, but he didn't let that stop him from talking to Approach Control.
Approach: "33W, confirm you have 'Hotel.'
33W: "Uhhhmm, we're flying into McCarren International. Uhhhmm, we don't have a hotel room yet."
After that, Approach was laughing too hard to respond. The next several calls went something like this call to United 583 (which didn't make it any easier to stop laughing)...
Approach: "United 583, descend to Flight Level 220."
United 583: "United 583, down to Flight Level 220. We don't have a hotel room, either."
20.12.11
Today's the Day I did my QXC (Qualifying Cross Country Flight). It all began at 7:30am as the weather was looking favourable and the flight was going to take some time so start early and ensure finnishing within day light limitations. After drawing up my plans and route and weight and balance calculations it was time to book out of Bournemouth and book in at Compton Abbas and Exeter. Alas neither were answering their phones till 9am. A bit of a later start than planned. Never Mind, "The best-laid schemes o' mice an'men Gang aft agley," (for the non-Scottish - The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew, And leave us nothing but grief and pain).
 |
| Flying over the morning rush |
The skies were a calling so I threw myself at them, failed misserably and then tried again in the helicopter to much success.
The flight up went without issue however the landing at compton, albeit aproach was fine and hover was fine, was fruity when it came to taxiing due to 24 knots of wind over the ridge.
 |
| Arrival at Compton Abbas Airfield |
Turning was a problem till I was moving with the wind enough to negate the wind speed and get round. I walked to the club building and was greeted by the girl on the right of the picture below. Its the second time I've been inton Compton Abbas airfield and both times they have been very welcoming and very friendly. I was even given a quality street sweetie on my arrival. Its the little things that say a lot. I signed in and ask for my 'proof oflanding' to be signed and was given the remarks of Aproach and landing - Well Done and Over all airmanship - Excellent. Very kind of her. I paid my £10 landing fee and was asked if i wanted tea and was told they did really good sticky buns and cakes. (For the dirty minds out there - shame on you!(I was one step ahead)) i had to decline and only had time for a quick pee and then off again.
 |
| Compton Calendar Girls |
Compton Abbas are selling calendars to raise money for Dorset and Somerset air ambulance service. Why not help and order yourself a copy. Only £10 and for a very wrth while charity.
I digress... Time for take off!
Interestingly enough the take off at Bournemouth was in 4 knots of wind but 24 knots at Compton. A brisk take off and a quick thank you to Compton Abbas Radio for their help and I was on my way to Exeter. This was a long trip. I was happy with my plan but had that shadow of doubt flying with me as I was doing this solo. But as I went along my track every mark and check point fell within a few hundred yards left or right of where I was expecting. Divine intervention!
Radio coms went really well as I pre empted the radio issues we had the last time I did this flight with my Instructor Carl. Transfered from Bournemout Radar to London Information and then to Exeter without any problems. This time i got a straight in on runway 26 which was daunting and funny as well. A huge runway with a tiny helicopter approaching. I felt like I was doing the airoplane challenge fomr the origional Krypton Factor. 
Once landed and shut down I went for a stroll to pay for landing (£21) and get my Proof of landing sheet signed by ATC. Once again the feed back was Aproach and landing - Well Done and Over all airmanship - Excellent. Thank God for that. I was all ready to call for a taxi home if I had screwed up. A very different aproach by the ATC at Exeter as they had me orbit a few times before landing where as at Bournemouth they tend to let you go straight in to landing site. The differenc I guess between an airport with multiple helicopter operators and one with only visiting helicopters.
Onwards and upwards again. Back to Bournemouth via Lyme Regis and a fly over a friends house which he is building at the moment. The round House. Its looking fnatastic.
From there it was onwards to Tarrant Rushton VRP and into Bournemouth. on the way I flew over Cerne Abbas and managed to get a look at the Cerne Abbas Giant on the hillside looking menacing and aroused
 |
| Cerne Abbas Giant |
Filmed from my phone hence the poor quality
Right thats it for this post. QXC done only one written exan and just over 2 hours soloing to do then I can sit my skills exam or do my practical coms exam...Eeeek!
Say again ...
...Questions via the radio should not always be answered exactly.
Tower: Aircraft in holding pattern, say fuel state?
Aircraft: Fuel state
Tower: Say again?
Aircraft: Again....
After this the tower controller switches off his radio and climbs down the stairs to drink coffee the rest of the afternoon. |
| Take off over Bournemouth Helicopters |
The time had come for a trip to Exeter, but the weather localy wasn't looking promising. After a lengthy consultation with TAFs METAR's NOTAMS and loads of other acronyms we decided the visability was 7000m and the cloud base was 1700 feet so we could go flying. A bit of rain all the way and a few random clouds to dodge but nothing to worry about.
My GoPro was set up on my head set (see previous post 'Still waiting...') to try and get a different view point for the shots. It proved to be successful however it was a bit high and every now and then when turning my head sharply to the left it would thud against the canopy. This being said, it does help to show where I'm looking and how much you have to move your head when flying. All I need to do now is get a good film editing program and get the videos on here!
 |
| Following the coast to Exeter |
Another valuable experience was the loosing of Radio capabilities. It sounds all very dramatic and had the potential to be very dangerous however there are protocols in place in the world of flying to deal with this. We had left Bournemouth airport and got handed over to Bournemouth Radar. Aproximately 8 miles from 'the zone' is the Yeovilton AIAA (Area of Intense Aircraft activity) so I called Radar and requested a frequency change. She advised us that Yeovilton were closed so we could stay with her or swap to Exeter Radar. We stayed with her for a further 20 mins till we could hear her but she could not hear us. I swapped to Exeter Radar and tried to get them. No joy. The hills in the way and our low altitude because of cloud was playing merry hell with our coms abilities. The next option was to swap frequency to London Information (Distress and Diversion Area Control) on 124.75 who cover basicaly all of England, Ireland and Wales south of 55 degrees North latitude and North of 55 degrees North latitude and Scotland is coverd by Scotland Information. This would be normal practice however we couldn't even get them. So the next plan of action was to go through the list of frequencies again till we got somone. The biggest worry was that Bournemouth would get concerned that she couldnt raise us and contact Exeter who wouldn't be able to raise us who would contact London who also wouldn't be able to get through. So we tried again with as much safe altitude as we could due to the cloud and nothing. the next action was to turn off the radio, trip the circuit breaker and reset it. Turn on the radio and try again, however we could hear broken coms from other aircraft so the radio was less liekly to be our issue and more terrain. We could have squawked 7600 for radio failure however the rdio hadn't failed. Our best option was to follow the priorities of flight - AVIATE NAVIGATE COMMUNICATE (in that order of priority). To the coast we went and continued for a further 5 mins till we got through to London Information. They informed us Exeter could hear us but we couldnt hear them so Exeter were happy we were safe and could see us on RADAR. We continued till London Information asked us to change to Exeter Radar frequency and change our squawk code to 0410. And that was that.
 |
| Arriving at Exeter |
All in all it was a very enjoyable flight mostly because of the challenging weather conditions and the radio issues. All very valuable experience.
Onwards and upwards!
Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.
Close but no doughnuts, doughnoughts, doh nuts, do not's......ok so close but not quite there.
16.12.11
Was today going to be the day? Erm, no. Sadly due to an excess of weight in fuel and PAX for the distance planned, I was unable to do my pre Cross Country Qualifier (QXC) today. Before sitting your skills test you have to demonstrate you can fly from one airfield to a couple others in a sfae and organised fashion and return with you and the aircraft in one piece without committing any air law infringment (or any law infringement for that matter!). However before i could demonstrate i could do this on my own I had to fly to and land at my destinations with my instructor to make sure i was happy with the procedures and requirements.
Today I was flying with Instructor Mike O’Donoghue however the weather was better sooner than anticipated so while Mike headed in i set to doing my flight plan and weight and balance calculations. Planned route was Bournemouth to Tarrant Rushton VRP then down to Exeter via Lyme Regis then back up to Compton Abbas and returning to Bournemouth. Flight Plan went ok however the weight and balance came up short. Well actualy you could say long, as we were going to be almost 100 lbs over weight for the distance we were going and with the 28 US Gallons fuel onboard plus required for trip.
So enter stage left, our options.
Option 1 - Syphen off fuel from tnaks on G-EMOL and refuel at Exeter (Not a prefered option as fuel would likely be discarded)
Option 2 - Take G-TSLC. A slightly lighter machine with only one tank. (Not a preffered option as EMOL has hours to catch up on TSLC)
Option 3 - Re do the plan. (More classroom work and less flying...Nope)
Option 4 - 'Shit Can' the whole day and go for a cuppa (See above reason)
Option 5 - Continue with the plan but throw in a random divert to Compton Abbas at a distance that would allow for the fuel/weight limitaions. (Yes)
So thats what we did. We set off as we had intended to however at a random point decided by Mike, we diverted to Copton Abbas for a landing which meant we did some Divert training and still got the Compton Abbas pre QXC landing ticked off. We also had time for a quick cuppa and a natter then it was off again returning to Bournemouth. Compton Abbas is and interesting place to fly as its perched up on a ridge lie which gets a stiff breeze most of the year. From Compton we headed home however i was under the hood wearing the Foggles again.
For this flight Mike assued the pretend position of RADAR controller guiding my into the airfiel in zero/poor visability. He had me do direction and altitude changes, speed alterations and orbits and to tp it all off we did a full circuit aproach right down to 300 feet 40 knots before i got to take the foggles off. Way over and above what will be expected in the skills test but a valuable experience and bloody good fun!
Almost completed the required instrument time and still to do my QXC. Waiting to fly to Exeter now and do a landing with an instructor before I can do it solo.
On to the next Flight!
16.12.11
Was today going to be the day? Erm, no. Sadly due to an excess of weight in fuel and PAX for the distance planned, I was unable to do my pre Cross Country Qualifier (QXC) today. Before sitting your skills test you have to demonstrate you can fly from one airfield to a couple others in a sfae and organised fashion and return with you and the aircraft in one piece without committing any air law infringment (or any law infringement for that matter!). However before i could demonstrate i could do this on my own I had to fly to and land at my destinations with my instructor to make sure i was happy with the procedures and requirements.
Today I was flying with Instructor Mike O’Donoghue however the weather was better sooner than anticipated so while Mike headed in i set to doing my flight plan and weight and balance calculations. Planned route was Bournemouth to Tarrant Rushton VRP then down to Exeter via Lyme Regis then back up to Compton Abbas and returning to Bournemouth. Flight Plan went ok however the weight and balance came up short. Well actualy you could say long, as we were going to be almost 100 lbs over weight for the distance we were going and with the 28 US Gallons fuel onboard plus required for trip.
So enter stage left, our options.
Option 1 - Syphen off fuel from tnaks on G-EMOL and refuel at Exeter (Not a prefered option as fuel would likely be discarded)
Option 2 - Take G-TSLC. A slightly lighter machine with only one tank. (Not a preffered option as EMOL has hours to catch up on TSLC)
Option 3 - Re do the plan. (More classroom work and less flying...Nope)
Option 4 - 'Shit Can' the whole day and go for a cuppa (See above reason)
Option 5 - Continue with the plan but throw in a random divert to Compton Abbas at a distance that would allow for the fuel/weight limitaions. (Yes)
 |
| Bright sun on top of the ridge |
 |
| 300 feet and still wearing the Foggles |
Almost completed the required instrument time and still to do my QXC. Waiting to fly to Exeter now and do a landing with an instructor before I can do it solo.
On to the next Flight!
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Still waiting...
.. Since the last post Ive flown twice. Yes I know Ive been pretty bad at keeping this up to date. A lot of other things going on in life that steals my time away.
The first of the flights was on the 10th November. A flight that was planned to go round the Isle of Wight and back to Bournemouth however the weather stopped us getting all the way round. A big fat cloud sat right over the island. An odd sensation to be in VFR but be above the layer of clouds to the south. To add insult to injury there was a small build up of water in the tubes which meant half way throught the flight I lost altitude, airspeed and climb decend indications. So basicaly flying in true VFR. Only gauge as to what was happening was what I saw and felt. All in all a valuable experience.
My next flight was on the 26th November where myself and Instructor Dave took to the skies to nail Instrument flying hours that are required by law to be flown. Sadly I forgot to press play for the flight so you have been spared and hours worth of me wearing a set of goggles that make me look like I'm wearing 1970's prototype Night Vission Goggles. Big, Bulky, Uncomfortable and do what they are supposed to do...Stop me seeing anything apart from the instruments. Fortunatley all the hours spent on Microsoft Flight Sim X practicing instrument flying paid off. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. But one thing for sure is the sensations through your body are very different to what is actualy happening to the aircraft. Flying by 'the seat of your pants' will likely make you crash!
The onyl picture from that flight I have is from the start up process.
You can see the GoPro Hreo Camera rig attatched to my Headset where I'm going to try and film from. Fingers crossed it works. I just need to convince Zero Alpha (my Wife) to let me get an GoPro Hero2. So much better!
Another reason apart from the weather that has stopped me from flying is work commitments. Not all bad as I've been up in God's Country (Scotland) playing in, sorry I mean training in Swift Water Rescue and Flood Water Boat Rescue.
Just another day at the office
 |
| Cloud Level below us to the left |
My next flight was on the 26th November where myself and Instructor Dave took to the skies to nail Instrument flying hours that are required by law to be flown. Sadly I forgot to press play for the flight so you have been spared and hours worth of me wearing a set of goggles that make me look like I'm wearing 1970's prototype Night Vission Goggles. Big, Bulky, Uncomfortable and do what they are supposed to do...Stop me seeing anything apart from the instruments. Fortunatley all the hours spent on Microsoft Flight Sim X practicing instrument flying paid off. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. But one thing for sure is the sensations through your body are very different to what is actualy happening to the aircraft. Flying by 'the seat of your pants' will likely make you crash!
You can see the GoPro Hreo Camera rig attatched to my Headset where I'm going to try and film from. Fingers crossed it works. I just need to convince Zero Alpha (my Wife) to let me get an GoPro Hero2. So much better!
Another reason apart from the weather that has stopped me from flying is work commitments. Not all bad as I've been up in God's Country (Scotland) playing in, sorry I mean training in Swift Water Rescue and Flood Water Boat Rescue.
Just another day at the office
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